No one ever told me there was a dark side of motherhood. Now, I know that I can't be the only woman on the planet to think this. All I ever hear is women saying how joyous and rewarding being a mom is. Yes, it is certainly those things, but not all of the time. I love my son more than life itself, but some days - like today - I find myself thinking back to when it was just me. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. I find myself thinking like this when I've had a particularly bad day with my son, today being the perfect example. Everything with him today was like pulling teeth. If I asked him to do something, I had to ask five times. Well, I'd ask five times and then I'd have to demand, threaten, etc. When that didn't work I resorted to yelling, yes yelling, something I hate doing and swore I'd never do. What a day. I feel beat up, defeated and completely exhausted. My kid thoroughly worked me, playing me like a fine-tuned violin. When all is said and done, I know deep down I am a good mother and tomorrow will be better. My little guy will wake up, flash me his "I love you so much mommy" smile, and that will be it. He will be the center of my universe once again; the reason I love getting up in the morning. Looking back, being the center of my own universe was pretty boring, and not nearly as much fun or as challenging. So for now, today is over. Tomorrow I will start all over with a clean slate. Thank God. <sigh>